Dear Jo Brady,

Thank you for considering this mission, solely on the word of our mutual friend, Eddie.

Firstly, some ground rules before you agree to anything.

You may think letter writing to be passé but I believe the act or art of writing to be more truthful; it focuses the mind more than typing on a key board and pressing send.

I admit to being a technophobe. This stems from my reluctant adoption of paranoia; an extreme form of awareness. I trust the word but not the type. I believe in the post but not email. Phones, be they landline or mobile are tricky; I don’t want to hear that Eve’s dropping in (pardon the pun) with her Bluetooth and Wi-Fi. It may be slow, but the forgotten grandparent of communication is my bag.

I have tried and tested my theory that our future correspondence will not be tampered with if we follow certain rules. Use tradition letter writing stationery; keep it light weight, (standard stationary weight 80gsm will do), bulky mail could be tempting a rogue sorter to seek out money. Also, extra stamps have implications other than cost.  Use C6 envelopes with one A4 paper folded twice. Write on one side only and no A5’s please. Follow this and we’ll have a nice, neat postcard size, unassuming letter.

We MUST use the designated PO Box addresses to avoid OTHERS accidently opening our mail or becoming suspicious, and of course it will appease any worries I may have about the security of this mission.

Who am I? I sound like an advert for Debrett’s. I will introduce myself next time. As you can see, I’ve run out of space.

Yours

Swan